Quorn Home and John Denver

Friday 22nd.

Another week gone and nothing much has changed. I am still driving back and forth to Quorn. There has been very little change in Annabell’s condition, which is a bit of a concern

. She is awake but spends her time staring blankly at the roof. She does not talk to me, and I really am starting to believe that she has no idea who I am. She lets me feed her most times but that’s about it. As soon as that’s over she is back to staring at the roof. Andrew still reads to her but there is no response. However, I have to admit that last visit, everything was so quiet I actually dozed off for a bit. I just don’t know what to do- but one thing we are absolutely certain on is that we will not stop coming to visit her – even if she doesn’t know who we are – we know who she is.

I was out to dinner last night. I had a call from an old friend that some people were coming to the hotel to celebrate his birthday and he would like me to be there. I was a bit reluctant at first but I said yes and went. I knew some the people – mostly from the RFDS, so that helped a lot. I am starting to get a bit concerned about me.  I take Thursday and Friday off and make plans in my head for what I am going to do with the time. Somehow nothing seems to get done and next thing I know, it’s Saturday and I am heading North again. I sometimes think it’s actually me that’s going gaga.  The days just seem to blur into one another and sometimes I am unsure of the actual day. I tend to play cribbage against the computer. I actually win sometimes.  I have been playing and listening a lot to John Denver CDs recently, particularly in the car, and I found some of his songs quite emotional – which is annoying because I actually thought I was passed that stage. For those of you who know the music of  John Denver “Perhaps Love” is my favorite song.

Friday and Barry visited me. He stops off at Maccas and gets two coffee and we share coffee together. Sometimes – like today -he had  some things from his wife to go to Annabell. I will take them up with me in the morning.  I will give the things to Annabell and talk to her about them. I’ll open the envelops and read the card to her, although I am not sure that it registers. Still, I will talk to her and see how we get on.

Fortunately, the days are starting to get cooler – still in the mid 30s but at least away from the 45c+ that we have experienced. We have also been fairly dry here although there has been heavy rain further north. That’s what I have to keep an eye on rather that what’s happening here. Parts of the Pass are fairly low and subject to flash

flooding, so I have to keep on the weather in the far north as well as here.  Benji and I still go out for our morning walk, and I have put the stroller away for the moment and have him walking again. Coming up for 14 and he’s doing well. Once the weather really calms down and it’s cooler, I will think about taking him up north with me and he can visit his “mommy” like the rest of the family. I know he misses her – as we all do.

Saturday 23rd.

Was later in getting to Quorn than I anticipated due to road works on the   Port Augusta highway and a “Convoy” system to move traffic in either directions — not at the same time, of course – with part of the highway closed off.  Still, wasn’t too bad and I was there just after 11am – so only 30 minutes late. She was in the mini-bed chair (what they call the “Princes Chair”) and I read her the cards and the latest letter from Glasgow. She never responded.  The nurse came in to give her the Insulin Injection and asked her if she knew who I was, and she just said “no”. She did not talk to me, but she let me feed her.   I have no idea what is happening. When she is not sleeping she  has her eyes open and stares at the ceiling. She very rarely talks and only then it’s yes or no. As when asked by the nurse if she knew  who I was she simply said no. Now the boys were here Thursday and Friday – as normal – I asked her if she had seen the boys recently and again she just said no. I know this not to be correct since John generally telephones me to let me know how she is and he did on Thursday. I am a bit concerned that this might change things -I do not know how or why but this is all new territory for me and I am not sure what happens from here on.